Blind Wondering

Believe it or not, but I am in my living room. I'm typing this with a wireless keyboard. I can't sese the screen. I honestl don't know if this is evenven being typed. The wirelesss. Hmmmm. I can't really delete things that weren't working out. I have to just go with what's here. Candid.

I find blindness intriguing. I guess it's a good way to interrupt any . I just throught so long that I forgot where i left off. What I meant was that blinding yourself makes yyou. It's vulnerable. All the "togetherness" , or image of togetherness is put aside.

Typing with a a screen keeps your mind refreshed on what you've already said. What would the effect of always doing it this way? Is it good for the mind? Would it improve my memory?

I still don't know if any of this has gone through. A part of me is scared--that this is all in vanin vain.. Who cares. It was my birthday yesterday. I'm 25. I feel just the same as I've always been. I hear people ask "--or, nevermind, I heard people SAY "Gosh, I'm [age], I'm so old." I don't feel old yet. I just feel current.

I'm going to go check now.

Holy smokes, it worked. Ha ha, I didn't write as much as I thought I had.

Octobrrrrr

The above is a still from a new animation project I'm working on. It should be done in a few weeks. It's a music video.

The air is cold. It's Fall. My birthday is coming up on the 7th... feeling cozy.

I've been reading the book of Luke. If you've ever wanted a straight-forward look at who Jesus is, I recommend it.

I'm thankful for the mercy of the vinedresser in this parable from Luke 13:

And he told this parable: "A man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came seeking fruit on it and found none. And he said to the vinedresser, 'Look, for three years now I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and I find none. Cut it down. Why should it use up the ground?' And he answered him, 'Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and put on manure. Then if it should bear fruit next year, well and good; but if not, you can cut it down.'"

Color

I've been experimenting with coloring my drawings.

Want to have a cup of coffee?

The above drawing, or at least the right side of it, was inspired by a guy I met on the street yesterday named Kirk. I'm happy about it. I forgot how weighty true character is. I had lost faith in them for some time.

I've been doing a lot of reading lately. I'm reading Embracing the Wide Sky by Daniel Tammet. It's blowing my mind.

Lots of my personal projects are piling up. I need to improve, or acquire, time management skills.

Just got back from Boston. It was good to see "old" friends. Old, because they're friends from college, but not detached. I'm excited that our bonds haven't weakened, even though we see each other about once or twice a year.

I've been struggling with a condition for the past 10 months. I'm not quite ready to share it with the world, except for the fact that it's improving.

Heat Is A Thief

Just in case you're not from Seattle, you ought to know that we just escaped a heat wave. Of course there are hotter places on earth, but Seattle is never prepared for any kind of extreme weather. Wednesday was 103 degrees and I had no sanctuary of cold, cool air. Work and home were both furnaces. My only relief was going to Green Lake after work with my friend Tim and Jessica, and Jessica. The above photo was taken by Tim.

The photo is a pretty good expression of what the heat was doing to me. I'd been having a very hard time thinking. Everything was off balance and difficult.

It was so hot in our apartment that I couldn't use my computer. It automatically shut off to prevent over-heating. Work was sluggish. Nothing seemed worth doing.

But it's in the 70s and 80s today. It's over. Yay. Suddenly I have this burst of motivation to do things!

Complexities of Life

I like this photo a lot. I like it for several reasons. A big reason is that it's of my beautiful wife. Another reason is the pained expression on her face. Why would I like that? Because it's unique. The photo has weight. I'd like to think that a good photo expresses a lot about what you're not seeing.

Stop and think to yourself why she might be having that expression. Did I ask Jess to pose with that emotion? Feel free to post a comment of what you think.

The truth is that the photo actually is an honest moment of clashing emotions. For the preceding minutes, I'd been taking photos of her in the living room in her pretty dress. She was delighted at the attention, and I was excited about the wonderful lighting.

Then we heard a little ripping sound coming from the couch. I swung around and saw Renton (the cat) digging his claws into our new sofa. I yelled, he darted into our studio, I went after him, but as I entered the studio, he was running back out again and I went to stop him with my foot and ended up kicking him pretty hard. In the face.

I could feel myself bubbling inside with anger and shame as Renton darted toward the kitchen. I turned around and looked at Jess. Even in the despair of that moment, I recognized the opportunity and took the photo before Jess had a moment to move.

I couldn't just ignore the fact that I had kicked Renton in the face, so then I went off to look for him. I didn't have to look far--he was under our bed. It took a while to get him out. I looked at his face, which was fine. No damage. No kitty tears. I was relieved, but anchored by regret.

So that's the story behind the picture. I will give $5 to anyone who thought that before reading the truth.

Oh, and in case you were wondering why Jess was all dolled up, we recently celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary. It's been a great 3 years. I'm looking forward to the next 60ish.

One more heart-felt tid bit: I went skating with my longboard today. I've had a harder time having fun with it the last couple years. I don't really have the time or the balls to do crazy stuff anymore, so sometimes I get bored with it.

Today I decided to switch it up and ride goofy instead of regular. For anyone who is unfamiliar, that means that I usually ride with my left foot forward (called Regular) but I rode the opposite (called Goofy) today.

Why is that significant? It's basically like throwing away 14 years of cultivated skateboard coordination and returning to the fear of a wobbling beginner. Usually it'd frustrate me, but today I embraced it. When you start over, victories are easier to come by, since it doesn't take as much effort to get as far as you were before. It was theraputic for my mind and body.

It's like breaking both your arms and then being overcome with joy because you wrote a poem by tapping computer keys with your nose.

Those little victories happen everyday, all day long, but I take them for granted.

Don't forget that breathing is a victory.

"Actually Tom, I forgot already. That's such a lame Hallmark card thing to say. You suck."

Yep, I suck BIG time.

Cowboy

This is a little animated documentary about cowboys.